Aging

Yep. I'm aging. A little more every day. My friend said that getting older was a little annoying...like a gag gift. I think that's a great analogy. How do I know I'm aging? Well, besides the mirror, there are a lot of indicators.

  • I make noise when I stand up now. If I don't make a little "uh" sound, then some joint is cracking or creaking.
  • When I got my first gray hair, I was excited. I yanked that little sucker out of my head and went hollering outside to my hubs. "Look!! A gray hair!!) The shine has worn off, folks, and it isn't exciting anymore.
  • I find myself saying things like "are you old enough to remember when......?". I know this is a sign of age because it used to drive me crazy when my elders did that to me. Now I'm doing it.
  • Once upon a time, I tried not to touch my face because it contributes to zits. Now I don't idly touch my face because I don't want to notice those occasional crazy chin hairs when I can't do anything about them.
  • I don't understand my son's music. I have even been heard to utter the ultimate old-age phrase, "Turn that crap down!" I do try to leave out the references to washtubs and primates.
  • We were once a family with big dogs. Our black lab was the sweetheart of the neighborhood. If I saw someone with a small dog, I would think "do you like that better than a real dog?" I know I'm aging because I don't disdain the little dogs anymore. I always said, "You'll know I'm old when I get a small dog." I haven't done it yet, but I can see which way the wind is blowing.

There are some rays of hope for me, yet.

  • I haven't started driving 15 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit, yet.
  • I like my music loud and my TV quiet, rather than the other way 'round.
  • Fiber plays no role at all in my thinking, I have very few doctor's appointments and no health problems worth discussing with anyone.
  • The TV schedule is not the basis for planning my day.
  • Even if I don't listen to a lot of current music artists, I do, at least realize they're out there.
  • Thankfully, I haven't started using phrases such as, "the younger generation" "kids these days" or "back in my day". I will occasionally cave in to a "when I was a child..." but anybody can say that, right?
  • I don't usually need you to repeat yourself to me. If I do ask you to say something twice, either I was concentrating elsewhere....or you said something really nice that I would like to enjoy again.
  • I am still immune to the potluck. Chicken ala king casserole made by heaven-knows-who has never appealed to me and still doesn't. I still choose dark breads and strong cheeses, sour pickles and spicy and bright foods that make my mouth sing. I figure this is the ultimate test of old age. When the day comes that flat, bland, soft, white food of unknown origin looks good to me, I'll know for sure that I am OLD.