One time, my oldest brother found a part of a shingle leftover from when Dad put the roof on the house. He had the brilliant idea that if he climbed on the roof, and put the shingle on the spark-arrester in the chimney, the fireplace would smoke and Mom and Dad wouldn't want fires very often....and he wouldn't have to split as much firewood. If my brother had applied all of his brilliance to work, instead of getting out of work, he could have solved half the world's problems.
I hated P.E. class so much that I once forged a note from my Dad. I got busted.
About 40 years ago, I had just learned about how rifle cartridges and shotgun shells work, with a powder charge, a primer and a projectile. So, applying that new info to all guns, I asked my brother, "Do BBs explode?" He said, "Yeah, you throw them like hand grenades."
My first sewing project in Home Ec was a t-shirt. Mom had already taught me how to sew but I missed the part about pattern and nap, I guess. The t-shirt fabric I picked was an adorable jersey with an all-over pattern of sunflowers in different sizes. When I finished my shirt and tried it on, I had one giant yellow sunflower centered perfectly over my right boob, and one giant yellow sunflower over my left boob. I guess I still had something to learn.
We had a pony named "Lucky". He was a mean-eyed little stinker who would run for the nearest low-hanging branch as soon as you lit in the saddle. We even used one of those devices that twists his nose to make him behave (they probably have a proper name, but we always called it a Persuader). Lucky was standing in his corral, glaring mean-eyed at the world, when a rattlesnake bit him square on the nose. He wasn't so lucky that day. I wouldn't be surprised if the snake died from biting him. (Oh, quit groaning.)
My best friend, Suzy, was the most gullible child on earth. We had her convinced that we had an alligator living in a wide spot in the stream.
Our favorite Uncle Jack played baseball in the minors. He had just been called up to the majors when he got drafted. By the time he got out of the army, his ball career was shot. But, oh, the fun when Uncle Jack would play ball with us kids!
The year that our FHA convention was held at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs was the same year they were filming the movie, "Ice Castles". I got to see the very spot where they filmed that scene where she crashes into the patio furniture and loses her sight. It was very exciting to see it on the big screen and say, "I've been there!" I'm easily amused.
My sister's dog, Cinnamon, puked a lot. I have a dog who pukes a lot. Is this a trend?
I had a friend in school whom I used to go ice skating with. We were about the same size, but whenever I fell on the ice I landed with a **CRASH**!!! and Carrie just kind of floated down like a feather. **whoop**. Why?
If Mom and Dad bought a case of Pop Shoppe soda, the empty bottles went in the closet in the foyer, to return so they would get the deposit back. That was also the closet where our shoes went. When an especially bad smell was coming from the closet, Mom went looking for the source. She was sure it was my brother's stinky sneakers. It was actually a mouse that had gotten into an empty bottle and died. But don't blame Mom; brother's shoes smelled equally, if differently bad.
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