Chocolate-Covered Compliments
Compliments embarrass me. Gifts make me feel a little anxious and unworthy...and embarrassed, too.
Fortunately, I don't blush, but say something nice to me and I FEEL like I am beet red. Oh, and I probably don't believe you. (Unless, that is, you are complimenting my Chicken Tetrazzini, which I actually DO believe is completely wonderful and of course you love it.)
Then yesterday, I was listening to a YouTube video. I hadn't even clicked on it; it was just the next video and started to play. My hands were full so I let it go and I listened. Mathew Boggs was talking about feminine qualities and male energies/ female energies. OK. Interesting stuff.
One of the feminine qualities he spoke of was the ability to accept gifts with joy--and accept compliments with pleasure.
That stopped me in my tracks.
I suck at that. But I can see that it is an attractive quality to accept what is offered to you with grace and a full heart.
I have always believed that a cornerstone of masculine identity and validation is to feel like a successful provider. It is important to let a husband know that he makes you feel cared for and secure. I try to tell Sweet Hubs often that I appreciate how he provides for us, from the deer he brings home to checking the air in my tires and building me spaces to grow things.
Sweet Hubs is generous in providing for me. I can see that he feels good about taking care of me and about himself for taking such good care of me. While I am pretty good about expressing my appreciation for the many ways he provides, I don't think I have been any good at all about joyfully accepting the seemingly small gift of compliments and those gentlemanly acts of chivalry.
If someone handed me the small gift of a delicious chocolate truffle, I could accept it with genuine pleasure, feeling no embarrassment. I wouldn't ever say, "Oh, no! I couldn't possibly accept that chocolate. I don't believe you: it isn't chocolate. That can't be right. I don't deserve any chocolate."
Starting today, starting NOW, I am going to start regarding those compliments like little pieces of candy: a sweet treat to be appreciated in the moment and accepted without embarrassment. I will teach myself to open my heart and let sweet words in without sprinkling salty thoughts of how wrong you are all over them.
I will cover those compliments in chocolate.
Fortunately, I don't blush, but say something nice to me and I FEEL like I am beet red. Oh, and I probably don't believe you. (Unless, that is, you are complimenting my Chicken Tetrazzini, which I actually DO believe is completely wonderful and of course you love it.)
Then yesterday, I was listening to a YouTube video. I hadn't even clicked on it; it was just the next video and started to play. My hands were full so I let it go and I listened. Mathew Boggs was talking about feminine qualities and male energies/ female energies. OK. Interesting stuff.
One of the feminine qualities he spoke of was the ability to accept gifts with joy--and accept compliments with pleasure.
That stopped me in my tracks.
I suck at that. But I can see that it is an attractive quality to accept what is offered to you with grace and a full heart.
I have always believed that a cornerstone of masculine identity and validation is to feel like a successful provider. It is important to let a husband know that he makes you feel cared for and secure. I try to tell Sweet Hubs often that I appreciate how he provides for us, from the deer he brings home to checking the air in my tires and building me spaces to grow things.
Sweet Hubs is generous in providing for me. I can see that he feels good about taking care of me and about himself for taking such good care of me. While I am pretty good about expressing my appreciation for the many ways he provides, I don't think I have been any good at all about joyfully accepting the seemingly small gift of compliments and those gentlemanly acts of chivalry.
If someone handed me the small gift of a delicious chocolate truffle, I could accept it with genuine pleasure, feeling no embarrassment. I wouldn't ever say, "Oh, no! I couldn't possibly accept that chocolate. I don't believe you: it isn't chocolate. That can't be right. I don't deserve any chocolate."
Starting today, starting NOW, I am going to start regarding those compliments like little pieces of candy: a sweet treat to be appreciated in the moment and accepted without embarrassment. I will teach myself to open my heart and let sweet words in without sprinkling salty thoughts of how wrong you are all over them.
I will cover those compliments in chocolate.
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