My Grandma used to tell me that everybody came equipped with a mirror and a magnifying glass. Metaphorically speaking, of course. It is up to us to figure out when to use which--or both. Sometimes I think we get confused about the mirror. I think we forget to use the mirror we are meant to use, and instead use television, books or other people's lives as the image we want for our own.
I am susceptible to this, I must confess. And I am usually too chicken to use the magnifying glass and the mirror at the same time. It isn't comfortable to look at myself that closely. I read about something in a book, or I see it in a movie, and I wonder to myself why my own --whatever-- isn't like that. My own marriage, my own home, whatever. Even a happy person can feel dissatisfied. I admit that sometimes I feel like I am working way too hard to be this broke. It's all too easy to forget to be grateful that I have a good-paying job (that I like,even!!), that I'm not really so broke. Allocating money to other things doesn't mean we're broke. It's just a matter of priorities. But I still want a new dress for the company Christmas party.
So, I polished up the mirror and I cleaned the magnifying glass. The first thing I am trying to do is take a good long look at myself. Stop being a child, I tell myself. Delayed gratification is something you should have mastered by now! Appreciate all the blessings in your life! Be grateful that you never get the laundry whipped: at least you have clothes to wear. Be thankful for the elk meat in your freezer. Hungry people wouldn't be tired of it. (OK, there IS a small voice in my head saying that if they had been eating it for 24 years, they MIGHT be sick of it. And they wouldn't be hungry.)
I am going to stop using the magnifying glass on my sweet husband, and instead use it on myself. I can be a better wife. The magnifying glass is coming out a little more often when I am tempted to buy something. I'll keep it in my hand all day at work and pay closer attention to detail.
This is going to be quite a struggle. I think, just to ease myself into this new self-examination, at first........... I won't wear my glasses while I look.