Cosmetics Salesgirl from Hell

I was striding through an upscale department store, on a mission and in a hurry, when a gravelly young voice calls out to me.

"Would you like to try this redonkulously overpriced new cream for your crow's feet?"

What is up with young girls using that gritty, creaking voice that is supposed to come with extreme age?
If I did, indeed, have crow's feet, would that have worked? Would that have shamed me into trying her overpriced cream, made from the foreskins of circumcised baby pandas, or wherever it comes from?

As it was, I just shook my head and smiled at her in that motherly look that says, "Oh, dear. You're such an idiot." and went on my way.

Cosmetics counter salesgirls of the world, take note: shouting to me that I have crow's feet will never work. If I don't have them, you just made yourself look nearsighted and silly. If I do have them, I'm probably not proud of them and don't want it broadcast over the loudspeaker.

What's next? Are we going to see Little Miss Sunshine at the drugstore, shouting out to the shoppers, "Hey, come get a sample of these less-visible incontinence pads!"

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